Ask Chrisseh

yes...I know it's hard to believe...but they were low enough to take my PORNO! OH PLZ! I must know!

Well, I've only heard this through other people, I have no way of confirming it 100%, however... rumor has it that monkey pirate ninja clowns disguise themselves as crazy war vets in wheelchairs. You know, the ones who sit on the corner near shopping centers in the shady part of town, holding up a sign of some sort while babbling incoherently? Yeah, from what I heard, there are usually like 2 or 3 of the little buggers stacked on top of each other in a costume. Just tug on his beard and if it comes off, you'll know... that either it's a monkey pirate ninja clown, or that you pulled too hard and killed the poor old fart.

Chrisseh-chan wrote:Actually, Monkey Pirate Ninja Clowns are so elusive, nobody's actually ever seen one. This is what makes them such a threat to international security.[/img]

Why would anything that's part Ninja also want to be part Pirate? That's like Chuck Norris wanting to be Woody from Toy Story.
Also, what is an Upid Blonde? =P
And will you make me an E-cookie?

Okay, here you go.

Question #1
A.) Because they're mutants. That's all that's to it. Evil mutants. I mean, why would a monkey be a clown? Or a ninja (Yes, we've all seen Kim Possible, shut up.)? Or a pirate for that matter? It doesn't have to make sense... Why would Tom Hanks be Woody from Toy Story? Who knows... but he is. Why would Chuck Norris be Walker, Texas Ranger? Because he's Chuck Norris, of course. Is this making any sense to you? Do you understand what I'm saying? Is this getting through to you? Okay then.

B.) Upid Blonde is a Stupid Blonde, minus the ST. Blondes don't understand words that begin with the letters "ST" if you remove the "ST". Strange... I know. So you could say... "Go put your stockings on" like "Go put your 'ockings on" and they'd be like "Huh? What....? Huh? I don't understand, speak English please." and you could say "You are very 'range looking." and it would fly right over their heads. Be careful, and don't do this too often. They might mistake you for an alien... and wrap their heads in plastic wrap, which may cause suffocation/strangulation. Unless that's what you're aiming for. ;D

This phenomena also works with words beginning with the letter "W". " 'hy are you so 'eird looking?"

C.) Sure thing! Here it is, your very own eCookie, made from scratch, still fresh and piping hot outta Adobe Photoshop!

Chrisseh-chan wrote:Okay, here you go.
C.) Sure thing! Here it is, your very own eCookie, made from scratch, still fresh and piping hot outta Adobe Photoshop!

....Chuck Norris and E-cookies? This IS a awesome thread!

Why thank you. I'll save that as a back cover review for when I complete my Best Selling Book: "Ask Chrisseh, The Answers You're Dying to Know!"

Because i'd buy it. =D

So, lets say your character (or yourself) was staring in an anime that was...ya know...traditional beat up the bad guy in one episode kind of deal. Well anyways, the main character usually has some sort of awesome final attack that he/she uses to defeat the enemy.

My question is, What is your final , show ending, attack?

Hmm... well, the Super Scope attack is one of those rare "special occasion" weapons. Might be featured more in the OVA or Movie... maybe a few episodes inbetween. So now, let me ponder, an awesome finishing attack. Something flashy, catchy, with one of those reusable animation sequences with the flashy backgrounds that makes you feel all hyper inside (Or is it a seizure?) Anywho, I'm thinking...

See, I have all kinds of attacks thought up for my other "super heroine" characters, most of mine are kinda generic, no real finishing attack, just a combination of attacks, physical and magical.

Let's go with something ultimately geeky and somewhat cliché-

Super lovely crushing PWNAGE! o.O Add lots of twirling, sparklies and an awesomely dramatic finishing pose followed by a blinding flash of light that comes down from the sky and obliterates the enemy and you've got yourself a win.

oooo That sounds like a winner!

well since i can't think of any creative questions i'll just keep this character questioning thing going.

What is her weakness? (if she doesn't have one, what do you think her weakness would be if she did?)

If her powers got an "upgrade" what nintendo console would her new powers be based on?

Weaknesses? Ah... all super heroes must have at least 1 weakness. I hate having my hair pulled... I guess that could be considered a weakness... then again, it also enrages me, which causes me to respond more violently. So I guess it's not really a weakness.

Oh! I've got it! Since she wears such a skimpy, cliché magical girl costume, the extreme cold could be her weakness! I get all shivery and tired when it's too cold.

Upgrade? Well, logically, the next upgrade would be N64, but then again... I was thinking of doing a "Talisman" like upgrade... similar to Super Sailor Moon in Sailor Moon S. The 3 talisman (in combination with Super Nintendo Power) would be NES, N64, and Gamecube... to create... Wii Chrisseh! =D

Sailor Moon S is probably the best season, btw. We meet Sailor Uranus, Sailor Neptune, the return of Sailor Pluto, Sailor Chibi Moon (In Sailor Moon R, she was simply ChibiUsa, though at the end of the R manga, she transformed into Chibi Moon. We're talking Anime though) and even Sailor Saturn!

what bait do you think I should try for my "Ninja-pirat-clown-monkey-Trap" ?

Oh~? You're making a trap? Well then, let's see... Part Monkey... I'd use banana, part Pirate- a bit of rum, part Ninja- let's go with a bowl of rice, clown- Cream pie. Or children. Either will work.

Monkey Pirate Ninja Clown Bait

4 bananas, just ripe.
1 cup of Captain's (Rum)
2 cups of vinegared sushi rice
1 large pre-made no-bake graham cracker pie crust
1 can of whipped topping

DIRECTIONS-

Peel and slice 2 bananas, toss with rice. Stir in 1/2 cup rum.
Fill crust with rice mixture and top with whipped cream. Garnish with remaining whole bananas and serve with remaining rum on the side.

If desired, add 1 live child ( age 5-8 ) and/or 1 thinly sliced, raw fish to the mixture.

what went wrong?

LOL...

Hey, maybe you've got a little monkey pirate ninja clown in you. o.O

Okay, Miss(issippi) Crisseh-chan... Why does gelatinepudding wobble when you touch it?

Gelatin Pudding wobbles when you touch it because it is possessed by the souls of people who died of morbid obesity.

Ha! Just kidding. Gelatin is made from the ground up tissues and bones of pigs and cows, in case you didn't know that already. Basically, the grinding weakens collagen protein bonds... boiling water finishes the job and breaks the bonds. When it cools, not all the bonds come back together- This leaves gaps, which are filled with water... and that is what causes the jiggling, wiggling, and wobbling. Sounds yummy, doesn't it?!

Do you celebrate Mother's Day in America?
if so: what did you gave your mother? =3

Of course we celebrate Mother's Day! =P

Common gifts are usually things like flowers, chocolates, jewelry, and of course, cards... and little kids in grade school usually make crafts in school. In first grade, we did little memory books with our hand prints and a picture with a decorated cover, and another year we did cook books!

This year, my dad got my mom this big, beautiful flowering plant, and a bottle of her favorite wine which is kinda hard to find. I got mom a box of these really cool Urban Chocolates ( http://candyyumyum.blogspot.com/2008/02/chocolates-on-edge.html ) that come in interesting flavors and are almost too pretty to eat, as well as a bag of some assorted individually wrapped favorites. =3

If you could choose the father of your child, who would it be and why?

Thanks for the info, another question: What happens when two Falcon Punches meet? I already have an answer but i want to know if you know that.

Crunchy, I think maybe it's a little too soon for me to think about that. I mean... I have no idea... Somebody who's good with kids, and faithful... and handsome.... and rich... >.>;

What the hell is a Falcon punch? O_o

This is what happens when two falcon punches meet: PURE EPICNESS!

Hmm I figured as much.

Next question!